8 reasons NOT to date or marry a Thai bar girl
October 13, 2021 - Reading time: 9 minutes
Reading online or speaking with other male visitors to Thailand, you are likely to hear many different horror stories from guys that have developed romances with ladies working at bars. Whether the guy found his girlfriend in a beer bar, go-go bar, or a club, many foreigners decide to form romances with ladies that work in Thailand’s adult entertainment industry.
Indeed, some foreigners do settle down with Thai bar girls, marry them, and remain together for many years.
However, for every success story involving a relationship with a Thai bar girl, you will be able to find countless other horror stories of men that have been cheated, scammed, and lied to. In this article we will explore some of the reasons why you should not date a Thai bar girl:
1. She will cheat on you
If you are dating a lady that works at a beer bar, go-go bar, or any other type of bar, then she will cheat on you. Period. Even if you think she’s different, even if she promises that she “doesn’t go with customers” or that “no-one can bar fine her”, she will probably cheat on you.
We have investigated hundreds of bar girls over the years and in the majority of cases they are found to be cheating while their ‘boyfriends’ are not in Thailand.
Bar girls work in bars in order to earn money by servicing customers, and will continue to do so in the majority of cases despite having a boyfriend. Bar girls use clever excuses and lies in order to make you believe that you are the only man in her life. The reality is usually different.
If your girlfriend is working in a Thai bar, then we can help to check her activities while you are out of the country. Feel free to get in touch with one of our experienced team members for a free quote. All contact with us is strictly private and confidential.
2. Money is very important to bar girls
Thai ladies usually resort to working in bars as they have a family to support and need to earn as much money as possible as quickly as possible. Bar girls are very money orientated and will usually need you to help support them.
If your girlfriend stops working at the bar and finds a low paid minimum wage job instead, then you will need to subsidise her income so that she doesn’t return to working in the bar.
If your girlfriend does not have the education needed in order to secure a high paying job, then you will need to either support her into education, help her to start a business, or subsidise her income while she works at a minimum wage job… Whichever path you choose to take, the relationship will cost you money in both the short and long term.
Of course, some guys allow their Thai girlfriends to work in bars while they are out of the country. However, if you allow your girlfriend to work in a bar then you must accept that she will continue to sleep with customers. We know from years of experience that in most cases the lady will continue her trade despite promises that she has stopped seeing other men.
3. Bar girls tend to be uneducated
Most of the ladies found working at beer bars in touristy areas of Thailand (Bangkok, Pattaya, Phuket, etc), are not local to those areas and have travelled there for work. Bar girls tend to come from the Isaan region of Thailand, and many hail from poor farming communities.
Bar girls do not usually have university or college educations. Many have very poor English-speaking abilities and only learned their English skills through speaking to foreigners in the bar. Sometimes it can be difficult to understand the broken English spoken by bar girls and you might find yourself using Google Translate just to communicate simple things. Many bar girls could benefit from taking classes at a language school in order to improve their English abilities.
If you are dating a bar girl, then try asking her about world history and Western society. You may find that her knowledge is limited.
4. Her family will always come first
Family is important in Thailand and you can bet that your Thai girlfriend will put the needs of her family first. If you marry a Thai girl then you will also take the responsibility for supporting her family and making sure that their needs are met.
Remember that Thai ladies are often package deals – when you invest in a Thai lady, you will also need to invest in her dependant family members.
5. Thai bar girls enjoy their work
There are some exceptions, however many ladies that work in beer bars or go-go bars do actually enjoy their line of work. Some women enjoy getting drunk every night, gossiping with their friends and earning money when a customer decides to bar fine them.
For ladies that have previously worked menial jobs in factories or similar places, working in a bar can be seen as easy and a way to make quick money.
However, working in a bar for any period of time can change how Thai ladies perceive foreigners, and make it difficult for them to revert into having a normal relationship. If your girlfriend enjoys working in bars, then she might be reluctant to find another job or to change her lifestyle.
We have seen many cases where bar girls told their boyfriends that they found legitimate jobs, however they were merely lying and covering up for the fact that they were continuing to work in bars. Other ladies will actually quit working in bars just to instead freelance in the evenings. Changing their lifestyles can prove difficult, especially if the lady does not want to change her lifestyle.
6. There could be other guys in her life
Even if they are not ‘bar fined’ every day, bar girls spend time with many different guys every day as part of their job. Many bar girls will have their phones filled with numbers and contacts for different men all around the world.
If a bar girl sleeps with hundreds of different guys, then it’s likely that some of them will feel a ‘deep connection’ to her or develop romantic feelings for her. Many will exchange numbers and stay in touch after they leave Thailand.
It’s impossible to know what a lady has truly experienced whilst working in a bar, and it’s impossible to find out just how many guys have her contact details. If you form a romantic relationship with a lady that previously worked in a bar, you should be mindful of this and be wary about infidelity occurring during your relationship.
7. Getting a visa can be difficult for bar girls
When it comes to having a long-term relationship with a Thai bar girl, many guys decide that they would like their girlfriend to leave Thailand and come to live with them in their own country.
Getting a visa to visit or live in a Western country can prove to be quite difficult for Thai bar girls. Suffice it to say that most immigration officers will not look positively on a lady that works in the sex industry.
Moreover, bar girls tend to be paid in cash and cannot always produce bank statements showing that they receive a regular salary. If the lady has received bank transfers from many different sponsors, then this could also act as a red flag if her bank statements are reviewed by immigration officials.
As we mentioned in point number 3, many bar girls have only a high school education. A basic education and a meagre minimum wage salary (or no official salary) tend not to seen as positive attributes when applying for long term visas.
8. Risk of disease
If your girlfriend has many different sexual partners, then the likelihood that she might contract a sexually transmitted disease will be higher. Remember, it’s possible to carry and transmit a serious STD without knowing that you are infected.
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Thai bar girls explained
September 30, 2021 - Reading time: 17 minutes
We describe them as “girls”, but Thai bar girls are adult women. Perhaps a more fitting name for them would be “Thai bar ladies”.
Thai bar girls are far different to ladies that serve drinks in Western countries. The biggest difference is that bar girls in Thailand are usually prostitutes.
Some men do not fully understand their profession before visiting Thailand, which can cause them to form regrettable romances with bar girls. We will try to explain some of the issues surrounding bar girls in this article.
What is a Thai bar girl?
A Thai bar girl is a lady that works at a bar in Thailand. Bar girls can typically be found in Bangkok, Pattaya, Phuket, and other touristy areas of the country that have nightlife scenes which cater to foreign tourists.
Bar girls are responsible for greeting and serving customers in the bar. They will typically sit and chat with customers, who will subsequently buy them drinks. Bar girls earn a small commission every time a customer buys a drink for them.
Most bar girls are prostitutes. Customers can pay “bar fines”, which are payments made to the bar in return for taking one of their ladies. The customer will need to pay a separate fee to the lady herself on top of the bar fine.
Some customers will choose to spend prolonged periods of time with bar girls. Many guys visiting Thailand will look for a ‘holiday girlfriend’ and spend 1-2 weeks with the same lady.
Bar girls tend to treat their customers as partners, and go all out with a “girlfriend experience”, which leads many customers into forming relationships with these ladies.
Why do Thai women work in bars?
In traditional Thai culture, the daughter of the family is responsible for supporting her parents in their old age. And if you speak to women that are working in Thai bars, you will find that many of them are mothers.
Child support is uncommon in Thailand and so when their relationship with the child’s father breaks down, many ladies will find themselves with the burden of providing for their mothers and fathers, as well as their children.
The minimum wage in Thailand is very low, and not usually enough to support a full family of people. Without a university education or a decent career, many ladies will struggle to earn enough money to support their families and get by.
Working at beer bars, go-go bars, and similar ‘adult entertainment’ venues, is often seen as a means to an end for Thai women. Working at a beer bar can allow the lady to earn good money, whilst she hopes to find a rich foreign boyfriend who will sweep her off her feet and take care of her needs.
Thai ladies will hear stories about their friends or relatives that have started out working in a bar, and eventually found a foreign boyfriend who has built them a nice house and bought a car for them. These stories can motivate many women to start working within the adult entertainment industry, especially if they are in need of money.
Some bar girls enjoy the lifestyle of getting drunk every day and spending time with foreign men. Some bar girls might prefer to have a normal job but have chosen their trade just to make ends meet. Everyone is different and circumstances can vary from one lady to another.
Where do Thai bar girls work?
There are several different types of establishment within the Thai nightlife scene, however the role of bar girls generally remains the same in most of them.
- Beer bars
Beer bars are prevalent in tourist hotspots such as Bangkok, Pattaya, Phuket, and many other places in Thailand. There are indeed several types of beer bar, such as sports bars, girly bars, pubs, and arenas which house dozens of small, separate girly bars. Drinks inside beer bars are generally cheaper than other types of establishment, however the cost of drinks is also highly dependent on the location of the bar.
- Go-go bars
Inside go-go bars you can typically find a number of ladies dancing on stage, who will work in shifts and rotate between other ladies that are resting off-stage. Ladies working in go-go bars usually wear numbers so that customers can easily identify them and let the waiting staff know which girl they would like to buy a drink for. The dancers will typically be wearing more or less clothes depending on the establishment.
Go-go bars are usually more expensive than beer bars in terms of the price of drinks, lady drinks, and bar fines. You might also find that the girls are more eager for you to buy drinks inside go-go bars.
- Gentleman’s clubs
Gentleman’s clubs are effectively beer bars which are fully enclosed and airconditioned. They tend to have less of a party-atmosphere than beer bars with quieter music.
As gentleman’s clubs are enclosed, they are sometimes favoured by married men, as it allows them to drink and speak to girls outside of the public eye. If you are drinking at a beer bar with an open frontage, then there is always a risk that someone will walk down the street with a video camera – you might find yourself posted to YouTube where your partner could view the footage. Gentleman’s clubs solve the problem of being seen and are effectively more discreet beer bars.
- Ladyboy bars
If ladyboys are your thing then you will be able to find ladyboy beer bars and ladyboy go-go bars in most tourist areas. Ladyboy bars typically operate just the same as bars with regular ladies.
- Nightclubs and discos
Nightclubs and discos are not bars in the strictest sense; however, bar girls often tend to work at these venues as freelancers. Bar girls (and any ladies living in Pattaya), can visit nightclubs when they are not working in order to hook up with customers.
Often is the case that freelancers will also earn a commission on drinks which are purchased for them, however this is not always true.
Thai bar girl words and phrases
Most Thai bar girls do not learn to speak English in school. They will pickup most of their English-speaking abilities through working in the bar. Many ladies speak “bar girl English”, which is a form of broken English that some foreigners find hard to understand at first. Instead of saying “Could you buy me a drink?”, for example, a bar girl might say “I want drink. Can you pay drink for me?”.
What follows are words and phrases which you are likely to hear spoken by bar girls:
Butterfly: A butterfly is a client that spends time with multiple different bar girls. Instead of sticking to one girl, a butterfly will spend only one or two nights with each lady. Many bar girls resent ‘butterflies’.
Bar fine: A bar fine is a payment which is made to the bar in return for a lady having time off. We have written more about this in our blog post ‘How much are bar fines in Pattaya?’.
Cheap Charlie: A ‘cheap Charlie’ is basically a cheapskate. Drinking at a bar without leaving a tip, or trying to negotiate a bar girl’s fee down will probably earn you this label.
No money no honey: This is a phrase which is often tossed around in areas such as Pattaya. It is fairly self-explanatory… Bar girls are with you to earn money, and when the money runs out so will their attention. As bar girls will tell you, they “cannot eat love”.
Short time/long time: Another self-explanatory phrase. Ladies will typically offer two different prices, for either ‘short time’ or ‘long time’. If a lady is staying with a customer for several days, then she might offer a different rate or a bulk discount.
Mamasan: Many bars will have a mamasan. The mamasan is usually an elder lady who will look after the ladies and manage any disputes within the bar. If you have a problem with a bar girl, then the first port of call is usually to speak with her mamasan.
Short time room: A short time room is a hotel room which can be rented for a short period of time, usually for around 1 hour. Many beer bars also have rooms available above the bars.
Ring the bell: Many beer bars in touristy areas of Thailand have bells, horns, or even buttons. When a customer decides to ring the bell, he will buy a drink for every member of staff in the bar. In some bars ringing the bell will also purchase a drink for every customer in the bar.
Lady drink: Lady drinks are drinks which are purchased for bar girls. As bar girls earn a commission for each drink purchased for them, ‘lady drinks’ are usually more expensive than regular drinks in the bar. Prices can vary depending on the type of bar you are drinking in and the general area.
Cheque bin: When you visit a beer bar in Thailand, you will normally find yourself being approached by a lady who will ask what you would like to order. The lady will then return to your table with the drink of your choice and a wooden cup which is called the ‘cheque bin’. The cheque bin will gradually fill up with bills for each drink that you order, which you will pay before leaving the bar.
How do Thai bar girls earn money?
Thai bar girls usually earn money through several different sources, such as:
- Salary
Bar girls usually receive a basic salary from the bar which employs them.
- Tips
Bar girls can make money from tips, whether they are receiving a cut of the bar’s pooled tips, or tips which have been handed to the lady directly. Most customers will leave a tip when they are drinking in Thai beer bars.
- Lady drinks
Bar girls earn a small commission each time a customer buys a drink for them. Don’t be surprised if a lady asks you to buy a drink for her - most bar girls will aim to receive as many drinks as possible while they are working.
- Bar fine
When a customer pays a bar fine for a lady, she will usually receive a small cut from that fee.
- Short time/long time
Bar girls obviously charge clients for their time. The fee which is charged will be up to the lady herself and paid directly to her. Bar girls can charge anywhere from 1,000 to 3,000+ THB.
- Boyfriends/sponsors
A main source of revenue for Thai bar girls are their boyfriends and sponsors. Men will often meet with ladies that are working at bars, spend time with them, and send money to them after returning home from Thailand. This usually forms the largest source of income for successful bar girls.
Thai bar girl scams
As a detective agency based in Pattaya, we have seen hundreds of bar girl scams over the years. Usually, a man will meet a bar girl, spend a prolonged period of time with her, and start to develop strong feelings for her.
Eventually he will need to leave Thailand and return back home, the lady will then continue to work in the bar but tell him that she “will never go with a customer”. When we are asked to check whether this is true, most of the time the lady is still very much available and leaving the bar with different customers on a regular basis.
Bar girls know exactly what things they can say in order to convince their ‘boyfriends’ that they are not continuing to sleep with other men. A common tactic is to call their boyfriends every night as proof that they have not left the bar with a customer. In reality, the lady might make an excuse to leave her customer for a few minutes and call her boyfriend.
Maybe her “battery died” or she “was tired” and could not contact her boyfriend for a few hours. Bar girls know what excuses they can use and unless you are in Thailand it is virtually impossible to keep tabs on what is really going on.
When guys fall head over heels in love with bar girls, they will always believe that “she is different” and “she really doesn’t go with other men”. The sad reality is that most bar girls are not different. They are working in the bar in order to earn more money to support themselves and their families. The need to earn money is not reduced by having a boyfriend… As bar girls will tell you, they “cannot eat love”.
Sending money to a bar girl so that she can stop working in the bar is another risky endeavour. Many ladies will simply take the money and continue to work in the bar, earning themselves as much money as possible.
Other bar girls will actually stop working in the bar until their boyfriends have sent a lump sum of money or helped to build a house. Once the lady feels that she has extracted as much money as possible, she will start working in a different bar until she meets another boyfriend with the net worth needed to become her next pay day.
You might think that it could never happen to you - many of our clients also believed this until they were confronted with the truth.
Thai bar girl as your girlfriend
Many bar girls start working in bars with the intention of finding a foreign boyfriend and settling down. But whatever her original intentions were, a bar girl’s mentality will be shaped by her experiences working in the bar.
If you’ve found a girlfriend working in a Thai bar, consider how many guys she slept with before you met her. She may have been with hundreds or even thousands of men before you stepped into her bar.
How many foreigners made promises to her which they didn’t keep? How many ‘boyfriends’ has she had which never sent her money? How many of her boyfriends broke up after returning back to their home countries?
On the flip side of that, consider the information she has received from friends and other ladies working in the bar. Maybe one of her friends has 6 different boyfriends and is earning a lot of money. Perhaps she knows a lady that scammed her boyfriend for several millions of baht.
The bottom line is that you do not know the lady’s history and the type of experiences she has previously had while working in the bar. She will sugar coat as many details as possible in order to help convince you that “she is different”, but the bottom line is you cannot read her mind or find out what she has been through.
While there are bar girls who will stop working in bars if they are supported by a foreign boyfriend and given enough money, there are plenty of other women who are simply trying to earn as much money as possible by scamming their customers.
If you would like us to investigate a lady that is working in a bar, then feel free to get in touch with one of our experienced team members for help and advice. Our service is 100% confidential.
15 lies that Thai bar girls tell foreigners
September 14, 2021 - Reading time: 10 minutes
Thai bar girls learn exactly what they should say in order to make themselves appealing to customers and to paint themselves in the best possible light. This article touches on some of the most common lies which Thai bar girls tell foreigners.
1. “It’s my first week in the bar”
This is one of the most common lies that bar girls in Thailand tell foreigners. Whether she claims that it’s her first day, week, or month working in the bar, you can bet that most of the time these claims will turn out to be false.
A dead giveaway to this lie will be if the lady speaks good English, but never attended university… She probably learnt her English skills through working in the bar, for considerably longer than just one week!
2. Lying about their age
Many Thai women have an uncanny ability to look much younger than they are, and makeup which is professionally applied in a salon can really help to seal the deal.
Thai bar girls are fully aware that most men prefer younger women, and it’s not uncommon for them to claim that they are 10 or 15 years younger, in order to increase their appeal to customers.
3. Lying about having children
Most ladies end up working in bars in order to support their families. Child support in Thailand is relatively uncommon, and many women resort to working in red light areas in order to provide for their families.
Having children is another trait that bar girls believe will make them less appealing to customers. They will often lie and claim not to have any kids, or say that they have only one child when they in fact have two or three. If the man ever gets to know the lady well enough to find out that she has more children than he first thought, he will at this point be so in love and committed to her that it won’t matter.
4. Lying about their name
Bar girls never tend to use their real names… They might tell you that their name is “Pin”, or “Apple”, or “Pea”, but they will very rarely give out their real names.
The use of nicknames is very prevalent in Thailand and there are many reasons for this. Bar girls understand that most foreigners will struggle to pronounce their real names and choose something that non-Thai speakers are able to understand more easily.
5. “I have never gone with a customer before”
A bar girl’s job is to leave the bar with customers as often as possible, this is how they earn money. If a lady claims that she has never left the bar with a customer before, don’t believe her. She might be trying to prepare you for a long-distance relationship (bar girl scam), by dropping hints that she is “different” or “not like the other girls”, and trying to increase her appeal by claiming that she is not “high mileage”. This is one of the more common lies told by bar girls.
6. “I don’t have a boyfriend!”
Many bar girls have boyfriends. Whether they have a local Thai boyfriend who accepts their girlfriend’s profession, or a foreigner who previously met her working in the bar.
Bar girls will never admit that they have a boyfriend. For many ladies, the goal is to recruit several different foreign boyfriends, all sending money to her on a regular basis. Having multiple boyfriends can prove to be very lucrative for some bar girls, and in order for this scam to work, each boyfriend must believe that they are the only man in her life.
7. She doesn’t like dating Thai men
Most bar girls will tell you that they don’t like Thai men, that they don’t find Thai guys attractive or that Thai men don’t treat their partners well. Perhaps this lie is told in order to remove suspicion that the lady might have a local boyfriend or husband at home; this is another claim which is designed to make the bar girl seem more attractive to customers in the bar.
8. She feels sick after leaving the bar
After you have paid a bar fine and left the bar, you might find that the lady claims that she feels sick or unwell. Maybe she develops a headache or has an upset stomach.
The motivation for telling this lie is quite simple, the lady would like an easy night watching television or laying down rather than “performing” in the way that you might have hoped she would.
9. “I don’t like young guys, I only like old men”
Understandably, this is a lie that you are only going to hear if you are getting on in age. Some bar girls will claim that they don’t like young men and that they are only attracted to older guys, presumably this is told in order to make the customer feel content and understand why the lady is so keen on him.
Some bar girls do actually prefer older customers, but not for reasons that they will tell you. Young guys can be more “demanding” in the bedroom, and more frugal with their money. Older guys tend to have less stamina, and will typically have more cash and be more likely to tip.
10. “I want to go to massage school”
If you are spending time with a bar girl, she might tell you that she wants to go to massage school or that she would like to open a salon. These are hints that if you start a serious relationship with her, that she is happy to leave bar work behind and find a legitimate job.
Some ladies will go to massage school, open a salon, or build a small shop in their village if they are given the chance; other ladies will take the money and continue to work in a bar. Typically, it won’t be until you have started to finance her new occupation and parted with your money that you will find out what her true intentions are.
11. She does not answer your calls
Trying to contact a Thai bar girl: You call her several times, she doesn’t answer. The phone goes to voicemail each time and your messages remain unread. Two or three hours later she calls you back and says “Sorry my phone did not have any battery” or a similar story.
Of course, the lady was spending time with another customer or her boyfriend. You might have suspicions but it will be impossible for you to disprove her claims.
12. “I was late because of bad traffic”
If a lady is spending time with one client and the session takes longer than usual, a common excuse is to claim that she was late due to bad traffic. This is one of the best and easiest excuses to use when showing up late for a rendezvous.
Remember that a ‘short time’ session might only last 30 minutes or less, and if a lady is late turning up for this amount of time it might be because she has serviced another client before reaching you. Saying that she was caught in bad traffic is an easy excuse to use in these cases.
13. “He is only a friend”
Scrolling through a bar girl’s social media profile or the camera roll on her phone, you are likely to find photos of her spending time other customers.
Of course, the lady will claim that “he is only a friend”. Another popular lie is to claim that the man she was with is gay. The motivation behind this lie is simple, she wants to appear single, perhaps with the hope that you will be looking to fill that void and form a romantic relationship with her.
14. “You are a handsome man”
It doesn’t matter what you look like – you could be 85 years old and 100 kilograms overweight, a bar girl will still describe you as a “handsome man”. The lady is simply trying to appease your ego and hope that you will take a shine to her.
The “handsome man” line has become so common in Pattaya that it is now a running joke among visitors and expats alike. Every man is indeed handsome when he roams the streets of Thailand.
15. “You have a good heart, I like you”
This is another line which is designed to appease their client’s ego, many bar girls will say words to the effect of “You have a good heart, I like you, you are not the same as other guys”. This type of compliment can often help bar girls to forge a ‘connection’ with their clients, and to make them believe that the lady harbours deep feelings for them.
In most cases the bar girl will be hoping that her client decides to spend more time with her than with other women, or she might be setting herself up to start a relationship with him long term. Either outcome will help the lady to earn more money than she would during a simple one-night affair.
Most of the bar girls investigated by us are found to be cheating on their partners. If you find yourself in a relationship with a Thai bar girl, then we can help to check that she is being faithful to you while you are out of town.
Learn more about bar girl investigations.
Questions that Thai bar girls ask foreigners
September 13, 2021 - Reading time: 9 minutes
Ladies that work at bars in Thailand are far from stupid, many of them are very intelligent. Bar girls understand that if they find the right man while working in a bar, they could get married and set themselves up for life. Many men that visit bars in Thailand end up falling in love with bar girls and fall victim to the ‘bar girl scam’.
Most bar girls will know a friend that has met their wealthy foreign husband through working in a bar, and many are looking for a boyfriend/husband to support them.
After you have visited bars in Thailand a few times, you will start to realize that bar girls tend to ask a specific set of questions. On the face of it these questions can seem like petty small talk, in fact sometimes it might be just that, however, they are usually probing for information which can help them to understand the customer and gauge his net worth.
We have put together the following list of questions that Thai bar girls ask foreigners to analyse these questions and delve into the information which can be gathered from them.
What is your name and how old are you?
Probably the first questions that you will be asked in a bar, besides what you would like to drink, will be the questions “What your name?” or “You how old?”. This is a general ice breaker and asking for your name allows the lady to introduce herself and open dialog for further conversation.
How many times have you been to Thailand?
This question is very important and will greatly influence how the bar girl views the man she is speaking to. If the customer responds by saying that he has visited Thailand 10 times, she will recognize that this guy knows the score… He will probably have spoken to many different bar girls before, possibly forged relationships with them, and will be somewhat versed on the type of scams that bar girls are known to perpetrate.
If the guy responds by saying that he’s on his first trip to Thailand, this will be music to her ears. Men that have never experienced the Thai nightlife scene tend to be more ‘believing’ of things they are told by bar girls, and more susceptible to scams in general.
TIP: If you are visiting Thailand for the first time, it’s best to keep that information to yourself when speaking to bar girls. Don't tell bar girls that you are visiting for the first time. Instead, claim that you have visited several times already.
Which hotel are you staying in?
This is another very common question that bar girls ask customers. And while it might seem innocuous, a lot can be learned about a potential client by the hotel he is staying at. If you respond by saying that you are staying in a hostel, or a cheap budget friendly hotel, this will signal to her that you don’t have much money to spend.
If you respond by saying that you are staying at The Hilton, or another five star/luxury hotel, this is a pretty good indication that you have money. The lady might show more interest in you if she perceives that you have money and are willing to spend it.
Where do you work?
“Where do you work?” or “What you work?” as spoken in broken English, is another great way for the lady to size up the man’s net worth and his social status. If he responds by saying that he works cleaning public toilets and has saved up for years to holiday in Thailand, then his appeal as a long term ‘boyfriend’ is probably going to drop.
On the other hand, if the customer claims that he is a CEO or a white collar professional, this is going to help the lady realize that she is dealing with a man with a good-sized disposable income, which is exactly what she wants to hear.
Where do you come from?
Native English speakers can easily figure out where another English speaker comes from, just by hearing their voice. Most of us will be able to distinguish between a British voice and an American voice, or an Australian voice and a south African voice, for example.
Many Thai ladies struggle to recognize accents and most of the time will need to ask where you come from in order to figure this out.
And make no mistake about it, bar girls have their own stereotypes about different nationalities, which will be based on their own experiences and stories from their friends. Speaking in general terms, most bar girls tend to favour guys from Western countries such as the US, UK, Europe, or Australia.
How long are you staying in Thailand?
“How long is your holiday?” is another good question which can help a lady to build a picture about their customer. If a guy is only in town for 7 days, then he might be staying with a lower overall budget, and her timeframe to form a relationship with him will be more limited.
If the man responds by saying that he is staying for 3 or 4 weeks on the other hand, this shows that he can afford a longer trip and has the freedom to stay in Thailand for a longer time. If a guy is more likely to be a repeat customer, then she might form the opinion that he is more deserving of her attention.
What type of car do you drive?
Again, this question seems innocent enough, but it can help the lady to build a picture about a man’s lifestyle and his income.
Not everyone that has wealth will display it by driving around in an expensive vehicle. The type of man that doesn’t might be described as a “cheap Charlie”. Bar girls are looking for men with money that are not afraid to spend it.
As “saving face” is a big part of Thai culture, most Thais will drive expensive vehicles if they can afford it and are given the opportunity, in order to increase how they are perceived by others. Driving an old or cheap vehicle will be a turnoff for many bar girls.
Do you want a Thai girlfriend?
Sometimes bar girls will be very direct and ask whether their customer wants a Thai girlfriend. They might ask this question jokingly, but if the answer is “yes”, then this can act as a green light for further advances, if she has deemed that he is worthy of her attention.
Finding your girlfriend in a Thai bar is never a good idea. Bar girls are always on the lookout for sponsors and men that will help to send them money whilst they continue to work in the bar and sleep with new clients.
Many bar girls also practice what we describe as ‘bar girl scams’, which can prove extremely lucrative for them and heart breaking for the victims.
Why do bar girls ask these questions?
The above questions are typical small talk that you will probably find when drinking in Thai bars. Bar girls will usually ask these questions hundreds of times per month to different clients.
The answer to these questions will help a lady to form an opinion about the man she is speaking to, specifically how much money he has and how suitable he is for her.
“My girlfriend works in a Thai bar”
If your girlfriend works in a bar in Thailand, then you are in trouble. Most of the bar girls we investigate are found to be cheating on their boyfriends while they are out of the country.
Instead of blindly wiring money to a Thai bar girl, you can instruct us to check on her activities and discover the truth. Bar girl investigations typically save our clients far more money than we charge in professional fees.
Learn more about bar girl investigations.
How much are bar fines in Pattaya?
September 12, 2021 - Reading time: 6 minutes
If you intend to take a lady from a bar in Pattaya and spend time with her, then you will need to pay what is called a “bar fine” to the establishment she works at.
In Pattaya, regular beer bars tend to charge 500 THB to 1,000 THB for bar fines. Beer bars in less popular, non-tourist areas might charge only 300 THB. A go-go bars tend to be the most expensive and can charge 1,000-2,000+ THB, sometimes going up even higher for popular ladies in high end establishments.
The cost of a bar fine will depend on the type of establishment, and sometimes the time of night (some bars might reduce their bar fines after midnight, for example). A go-go bars almost always charge more expensive bar fines than beer bars.
What are bar fines?
Bar fines are payments which are made to the bar in exchange for taking a member of their staff, the lady in question will typically receive a percentage of the bar fine payment (usually around 1 third of the fee). The bar fine does not include compensation for the lady herself and you will need to agree a separate amount which will be paid to her directly.
Bar fines typically allow patrons of the bar a level of ‘protection’, in the sense that if a lady steals from you, misbehaves, or takes items from your hotel room, you can then return to the bar that she works at and explain the situation to them. Most ladies will not attempt anything untoward with the knowledge that they are traceable and might run into problems through their employer.
Are bar fines negotiable?
Bar fines are typically not negotiable. You will need to pay whatever amount the bar’s mamasan or cashier requests. Sometimes if you are paying a bar fine for several days or weeks, then the bar might offer a discount. However, this will be at their discretion and not all bars offer ‘bulk discounts’, especially if the lady is popular or the bar is struggling to find staff.
If you are intending to pay a bar fine for several days or weeks, then you might encounter issues which are more serious than the amount which you pay as a bar fine – typically falling in love with the lady and becoming a victim to a ‘bar girl scam’, where the lady will continue to work at a bar despite being ‘in a relationship’ with a previous customer.
Why do bars charge bar fines?
If a lady is taken from a bar by a customer, then she will no longer be encouraging people into the bar, and no-one will buy drinks for her – by having one less member of staff the bar will lose money. Put simply, bars charge bar fines as compensation for losing a member of their staff.
Falling in love with a Pattaya bar girl
Thousands of foreign men visit Pattaya every year and end up falling in love with bar girls. If you are spending a prolonged amount of time with a certain lady then you might find yourself in a similar predicament.
Sometimes relationships between bar girls and foreigners can work, however, such cases are rare, and for every success story there are 10 horror stories.
Men that fall in love with bar girls will always say “She’s different!” or “She’s not like the other bar girls!”. When guys fall head over heels in love with bar girls, they tend to lose sight of the full picture.
Whether the lady works in a beer bar, gentleman’s club, a go-go, or a massage parlour, bar girls work in these venues because they need money. They usually have children from previous relationships and need to provide for their parents as well. The minimum wage in Thailand is quite low and usually not enough to support a full family of people.
Without a university degree, it can be difficult to find a decent paying job in Thailand, and many ladies resort to bar work in order to earn enough cash to support themselves and their families. If you form a relationship with a bar girl, then you will need to send her money on a regular basis to support both her and her family, and this is where problems can arise.
You may hear tales of “bar girl scams” in Pattaya… Men often fall in love with ladies that are working in bars and decide to send money to them. In return the lady will promise not to leave the bar with any customers, or she might claim that she has left Pattaya and gone back to live with her family in the village.
We know from experience that most of the time bar girls will continue to accept bar fines and leave the bar with customers whilst a foreign man is “taking care” of them and wiring money on a regular basis.
Another classic bar girl scam involves the lady forging multiple relationships, and having several different foreign boyfriends sending her money. Each boyfriend will believe that they are the only man in her life. When done correctly, this type of scam can allow some bar girls to earn huge amounts of money.
You might read this article thinking that “it could never happen to you” or “she is really different”… This is the type of mentality which helps guys fall victim to bar girl scams. Not all bar girls are different and most of them are actually quite similar.
If you do happen to find yourself in a romantic relationship with a bar girl, then we can help to find out if she is different and get to the truth.
We often investigate bar girls that are working in Pattaya in order to check that they are loyal to their boyfriends. Most ladies are not loyal and will continue to leave the bar with customers whilst their boyfriends are back in their home countries. Bar girl investigations can typically save our clients huge amounts of money, as well as their time and heartache.
Learn more about bar girl investigations.
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